My breast implants gave me cancer

Hi everyone.

This is long winded, so I do apologise. This is a rough journey and one that can’t be told in only a few sentences, and also one that doesn't hasn't ended either. It might also come as a shock to my friends and family as I haven’t been so open and forthcoming on my personal socials or chats. Perhaps bottling up my experience is also what’s contributed to the way I’m feeling. 

The technical name for my cancer is 'Breast Implant Associated Anaplastic Large Cell Lymphoma' - BIA ALCL for short. This cancer develops from textured breast implants, and no one knows exactly why. It is very rare and so many people have never heard about it. I hope by sharing my experience and raise awareness about it will help my mental state, as I am crying several times a day at the moment and am one step away from asking for professional help to get myself through this. I have a supportive and loving family, have always loved my life - but I think talking about things (especially to people who can relate) will help me. 🤞🏼

SO... here goes....

Today is 3 weeks post explant (implant removal), my wounds still have bandages and the last few weeks have been REALLY hard. My eldest daughter started prep last week, which has also added extra emotions into the mix!

I guess I just want to share my journey step my step because I feel it was pretty fast, so fast that I haven't fully been able to digest it all.

I got breast implants in June 2014. I fell pregnant in 2015 and continued to breastfeed until end of 2017 right before I fell pregnant again early 2018 and had my second baby later that year. My breasts were very uneven during my second time breastfeeding in particular. I stopped breastfeeding 1/4 through 2020 and after 6 months of my breasts still being uneven I started to hear and feel fluid forming in my left breast.

I thought perhaps my implant had burst and saw my GP for an ultrasound referral. I procrastinated for a while getting the ultrasound because it didn’t seem like a priority at the time. It was also always my plan to go bigger after children so was waiting to save some $$ for new implants and was hoping to do it in the same surgery. Eg take out what I thought were ruptured implants and put new ones in.

From the ultrasound the results showed that my implants were in tact, however there was fluid around my left implant and I was instructed to have an ultrasound guided needle to take a sample for testing to see what it is.

Even at this point I wasn’t alarmed and again procrastinated in booking that appointment 😅 until.... my breast was so large that my nipple would be bursting out the front of my day bra and major side boob protruding out of my sports bra.

I booked in my appointment where they took 160mls of fluid 😐😐 I was GOBSMACKED! I felt instant ‘relief in deflation’ and came home ecstatic that my boobs were finally even again! That was Tuesday afternoon 15/12/2020.

Thursday morning 17/12/2020 (it was the last day of work before Christmas holidays) I got a call from my doctor wanting to see me immediately. I went there straight after work. I cried most of the way there thinking that I had breast cancer and was going to die. And how on earth could I live without my girls, and in turn how could they live without me 😭💔

At this appointment I was told suspected BIA ALCL and that more tests were still coming and to come back next week once all the results should be in.

24/12/2020. My 30th birthday. I had a 9am doctors appointment.. further confirming suspected BIA ALCL with ‘removal and chemo’ attached to my file 💔 This was not the news I was hoping for and that same day I got the notice my consult for surgery was scheduled.

07/01/2021 - consult day. I asked all the stupid questions. Things like ‘could I have transmitted anything to my daughters while breastfeeding?’ ‘Could I die from this?’ ‘Will I lose my hair with chemo?’. Everything was answered as much as possible and surgery was scheduled for the following week.

14/01/2021 - surgery day. Due to the pandemic and the recent case in our greater area harsh restrictions were put in place and no visitors were allowed at the hospital. I had to do it solo 😭😭 my hubby and the girls dropped me off at the hospital door in the morning and had no choice but to continue about their day. I was so scared and nervous. Post surgery I was so flippin’ thirsty and could barely move. I drank 5 jugs of water and kept asking for more 🤪 I had drains in both sides and was discharged the following day. I organised for my parents to take my girls so my husband could watch over me. I cried myself to sleep the first night home. Starting to grieve the loss of my boobs and how I wouldn’t be able to wear all of my beautiful bras again. The following nights I struggled sleeping. Or when I did I was having nightmares about people wanting to rip my tubes out and steal my blood 🤷🏽‍♀️

The physical pain wasn’t as bad as I thought. I was strongly advised to continue taking Panadol by the nurses in hospital post surgery even though my pain levels were only 1-2/10. I stopped taking any meds 2 days post op because I really didn’t need them. The most painful thing for me was carrying my drain handbag on the same size 24\7. It’s made my back and neck really sore! 3 weeks later and that pain is still there (because I still have restricted movement) and even the physio is shocked how tight my back is. I can't wait for tomorrows appointment to feel some relief again!!

21/01/2021 - 7 day post op follow up appointment and the day I begged my surgeon to take my drains out - and he did 🎉🎉 recovery has been much nicer since having them removed. After the drains were removed and I was able to be more myself again it was the little things that got me emotional.  I cried being able to walk and hold my daughters hand again. I cried when my husband could put his arms around me without fear of pulling on a drain. To be able to shower on my own, learn to dress myself again has been stupidly rewarding. Just yesterday I put my loose sports bra on without my husbands assistance and he was happy for me! Yay for little wins.

29/01/2021 - 14 day follow up where my bandages were removed and tape applied. It was also my appointment at the Hematology clinic at a larger hospital. 100% confirmed BIA-ALCL in my left breast. The report shows that the cells didn’t protrude out of the capsule and I now have a PET scan scheduled in 3 weeks to see if it’s travelled anywhere else. It was also the day I found some online groups to be apart of and share my journey and learn more about BIA-ALCL.

Within these groups and also with more research I’ve really got an ‘easy’ story. I feel really lucky with what’s happened to me in a way. Aside from swelling I had no pain or any other symptoms. The Queensland public health system suspected ALCL right from the very beginning and I feel I have been well informed and ‘on track’ with the correct treatment my body needed. From my fluid aspiration to my surgery was 1 day shy of a month! Other ladies are fighting to get their implants removed. There’s a thing called ‘Breast Implant Illness’ and it’s honestly just awful. Scarily I also learned that ladies are still dying from this cancer as late as 2019 😭💔. This is so much more serious than I first realised and it’s scary! 

If you’ve got this far in my story. Well done and thanks for reading. I’m not a negative person and try not to dwell on things. I feel I’ve kept myself together most of the time. I know I’m going to have those days where I want to dress up to go out and be stumped on what to wear because things don’t fit the same anymore. I still have tenderness and bandages covering my incisions, so am unable to even start bra shopping for new things to wear. 

Now I play the waiting game for my PET scan in 2 weeks and hopefully I find out I'm cancer free and can put this behind me and continue moving forward. In the mean time I am trying to process my thoughts and emotions and try to be happy with my 'new' body. 

At the moment I am not okay. I am struggling to love myself. I am struggling with the idea of my husband trying to be close to me, despite knowing he loves me anyway. I am struggling at the fact I'm not going to gym like I usually do. I am struggling knowing that I can’t swim with Mia this weekend when swimming lessons start back. I’m struggling with the unknown of what then next few months hold for me.

I feel and hope that once things can go back to ‘normal’ I’ll start feeling more myself again. And that one day I’ll look back on this as a life lesson and love myself and my body, because I am grateful my body has created 2 beautiful babies and carried me through 30 amazing years. 

Thanks for reading 

Trish x